August 2, 2014
Stupid questions I am afraid to ask.
1.
Do I have low self-esteem?
2.
Do I Have poor self-confidence?
3.
Can I do things for myself?
4.
May I have permission to succeed in life?
5.
Is it normal for a 40 year old child to runaway
from home with a friend?
6.
May I learn to drive?
7.
May I do what Karin and Lisa are doing?
8.
May I live like Karin and Lisa are living?
9.
Is it normal to manipulate a friend to get
him/her to abduct me?
10.
May I get a tattoo?
11.
May I talk to anyone on skype as long as they
are nice?
12.
What does paranoid mean?
13.
Am I paranoid or Am I normal? Plz say normal.
14.
When will I feel less afraid that I will get in
trouble?
15.
Is/was it normal to move since I turned 21? I’d like to know.
16.
Am I mentally a three year old? No, but I act like
one. (Well I feel like it since I can’t do anything since Jason told me I have
get permission to do anything I want to do.)
17.
Am I a dependent? I want to be Ms
Self-Sufficient.
18.
Do you believe I frighten people with my anger
during my monthly?
19.
What does it mean when I dream that I am
angry? (I get up and check my face in
the mirror)
20.
When will everything work for me? (as soon as I
control the anger during my monthly. I need a female to talk to.)
21.
May I move out of state with a friend?
Your opinion of that will not be
accepted if it’s not good answer. Your going to say that these questions are
not appropriate. Why is it not
appropriate? Why is everything not appropriate when it comes to me?
I am still a child. Yes, I am 40.
A 40 year old that hasn’t done much life, since she is too chicken that she
will get in trouble. Why? I am afraid I
might get in trouble. I am about to make a run for it. (shut up I’m still
typing) Yes, I am old enough to know
better not to run away. When will it be
my turn to succeed? Whenever I control
the anger when I am on on my monthly and then stabilize it. Also if I write down my goal and put it
everywhere I can see it, people will laugh and make fun of me and probably say
that’s not appropriate. L And
then ask why would I want to?
August 3, 2014
I am afraid I am going to get in
trouble. I will always feel that way, from now until the day I die, which will
be sooner than I think. Quite honestly
all this anger is from not being able to talk. I will always feel not being
able to talk. L Do you think I need a female counselor? Or do I just need to take care of this on my
own? I only have two limiting beliefs from the book I read “Think your way to
the life you want”. They are 1) feeling like I am going to get in trouble when
I do something. And 2) I frighten people to the extreme. These thoughts can be changes. (I
think) But how?
Yup I have to be able to talk for
people to believe what I say. Nothing works for me. I have an idea. Just throw
me out there with a peer my own age who understands. But no one knows anybody.
Why can’t I just forget everybody—forget what everyone else is feeling and just
leave. But I can’t. I will get in trouble. I don’t want to hurt anyone, but it
looks like I already done the damage. L
I have no money and no way to get
anywhere myself. If I can get the right book that will help me…. Oh never mind
reading doesn’t seem to help me. L I just feel like I want to die.
It’s not appropriate for me to get
a roommate. I get that. Because they think something will happen and I will be
stuck more than ever! Well why do you
think that I can’t get a roommate?
I wonder what all this means? It
probably means that I am angry do to my monthly every month and not being able
to talk.
Can I go up to a whole pill?
I don’t think it matters what I
write here. People are still not going to listen. L
I am lonely. I want a friend. Is
it better for a friend to just be there, than to “Say Nothing At All”? But no friend would understand. (I think)
August 5, 2014
I am very disappointed in
myself. I hate myself. People have to
approve of where I am supposed to be. I
have to have supervision at all the dam time now. L I hate me!
I need help!
I am lonely!
I need a friend.
I want a friend, but need your approval
for the friend I want.
